#75 Cleaning, decorating, gift-giving 12/08

I love the December evening when we gather at a friend’s house, pack into
every space in the living and dining rooms, and pour ourselves into bringing
Handel’s Messiah to life. I’m filled up with beautiful music, and it’s one
of those gifts that keeps on giving; the music makes its home inside my head
and I keep hearing it for days. As I reflected on what a good choice this
had been about what I wanted in my head, I started to consider how else I
can pay attention to that space.

I already think about the movies, books, and TV I consume with an eye toward
what will remain in my head. What scenes and words, what kinds of
assumptions about human nature and the world we live in, will linger?

I remember wise things that I’ve heard about this: “There is both a wolf and
a dove inside each of us. Which will grow? The one that is fed.” “Hanging
on to resentment is like giving yourself poison and hoping the other person
will die.” It’s been a thrill to discover that when I start down a path of
resentment inside my head these days, I can often notice it happening,
remember that I don’t want to go there, and get back on a path of my own
choosing. My inside space is so much cleaner as a result.

Then there’s the question of other things I might want to add to that space,
to make it an even more inviting place to live. In a children’s book I came
across recently, a child says: “Dad believes that the things of nature are
a gift. And that in return, we must give something back. We must give
thanks.” I like being thankful for the sky and the earth as I walk down the
street. My commute goes better when I remember to offer a brief bless and
keep prayer for each person who gets on or off the trolley.

When I focus my attention more on what inclines me toward hope, and less on
what tips me toward despair, it’s easier to think well about what to do.
It’s like there’s less stuff lying around inside to trip me up. (And while I
may need to look straight at despair at times, I always know where to find
it.)

This way of thinking puts housekeeping and interior decorating in a whole
new light. I’ve never been big on pouring resources into making my external
house beautiful, but I realize that I care deeply about the space inside my
head. I would choose to clean out everything that hinders me from acting
with love and power in the present. I would choose to create lots of space
and light. And I can’t imagine a better gift than one that enhances that
love, power, space and light.