#76 Going All Out 12/08

I had agreed to sit beside a woman with profound hearing loss and type what
the presenter said so she could read the screen. She had hearing aides and
an amplification system, but still lost words and meanings, and wanted to
take the information in as fully as possible.

I wanted to help, but was a little nervous about how well I would do. I am
a fast typist, but quite an inaccurate one. I don't like making mistakes,
am proud of my work, and always carefully edit and clean up any copy before
letting anyone see it. Now this would not be an option; everything I did
would be immediately visible. Nor would I be able to capture every word, or
even every thought, given this speaker’s fluent continuous style.

So I launched in—-and started making mistakes before the end of the first
sentence. It was like being on a roller coaster. Once started, there was
no stopping. Mangled words just got worse by lingering on them, and there
was no time to linger. I couldn’t look back to correct. I couldn’t type
fast enough to capture everything that was said; what was lost was gone
forever. And I certainly couldn’t put any time or attention into worrying
about either one. I just had to keep on going and doing my deeply imperfect
best.

When my turn was over I was a little breathless, and doubly surprised.
First of all, this mistake-ridden incomplete best was good enough! Our goal
had been that she understand more fully as a result of my efforts—-and that
goal was achieved beyond a shadow of a doubt. Typos were irrelevant and,
despite all the gaps, the part I was able to do was the thing that mattered.
Even more surprising, it was an exhilarating ride! I found myself laughing
at the mangled words as I continued to type furiously away—-and the more
mangled, the funnier. It was easy to start a new line and a new thought
when I got too far behind on an old one. All-out effort was what was
required, that’s what I was giving, and it was a thrill to try so hard.

Of course there are times when it is useful to revisit mistakes for what can
be learned—-and there are certainly situations where thoroughness is more
important than speed. Nor is that kind of intense effort sustainable
indefinitely. But there was gold here. I look forward to internalizing the
lessons of this experience and finding ways to replicate them in the future:
blithely consigning mistakes to the past, being fully in the present,
focusing on what I accomplish rather than what goes by undone, laughing at
my imperfection as I try all out for the benefit of my world.





Celebration, squared

Excitement is thick in the air
Abandon work and school
Take to the streets!
Young and old in costumes
sprinkled through the crowds
stickers, fliers and confetti everywhere
The jostle in crowded trolleys
full of good will
heady anticipation
good things to come.

What new holiday is this?
The stars are aligned:
Baseball championship parade
Halloween
Obama victory eve
all rolled in one great festival.